Here is a short list of tools for managing anxiety and also improving your well being. Many of these tools are taken from Dialectical Behavior Therapy, a mindfulness-based, therapeutic approach which helps people regulate intense emotions and improve their quality of life. Maybe something we all need to practice when stuck inside with our loved ones for several weeks!
Skill #1: Check the Facts - This skill is about writing down anxious thinking so we can better observe our thoughts and assess whether they are 1.) accurate and 2.) whether our feelings about them are the appropriate intensity to the situation I am currently in.
Ex. I think we will be quarantined which increases my anxiety and makes me want to hoard supplies.
Checking the facts: Is it accurate that we will be quarantined? Do I have concrete evidence to support this? Does my level of anxiety fit the facts of my life right now in this moment? Lets assess: Are my basic needs met? Am I in danger for my physical health being at home? If the answer is no then my anxiety does not fit the facts. There is no threat to my life which my anxiety would help me respond to.
Remember this is a skill to help us stay mindful and grounded in the present situation, not the situation you think will happen.
So what do I do if my feelings of anxiety do not fit the facts?
Skill #2 : Opposite Action. I take opposite action to the urges of anxiety or fear. If my fear tells me to run, hide or fight for toilet paper, opposite action is about not running and instead sitting still and enjoying my safe, comfortable home with my adequate amount of food and supplies. It is about noticing how I am taken care of in the present moment. Opposite action is about not fighting for toilet paper, but rather thinking of ways I can be generous with what I can share; my love, my attention, my time or resources that people I love may not have. Opposite action is about instead of hiding from life, getting out and taking a walk or hike (with social distancing). It could be about reaching out and calling friends and loved ones, staying connected to others in a safe way.
What if my job or my loved one’s job does actually put me at risk to exposure and my fear does fit the facts?
Use Problem Solving Skills to address your valid fears. Brainstorm and make a list of all the ways you can keep yourself safe and put them in to action. Notice after you do them if you feel any better. Stay grounded in the ways you are reducing your risk. Remind yourself you have taken every action you can think of to keep yourself as safe as possible in an unsafe environment. If you still feel high levels of anxiety use distractions or pleasant events to help calm and restore you when you are not at work.
Skill #3 - Pleasant Event Scheduling
Right now it may seem like all the normal order and routine, even our fun plans have all been thrown out the window. It may be important for us to grieve that for a short time, it is sad to see things get taken away. Out sadness needs action too and part of dealing with grief is taking action about the things we hold dear being taken away. When you are ready get in to action by creating a new plan full of activities and events for the short term that we will look forward to doing or just feel relieved to know our time is managed and scheduled.
Begin by making a list of things you can do that you enjoy in your home or even outside. Maybe things you don’t have time to do normally for self care like taking a bath, journaling, working on a hobby or a long lost art form you were once passionate about and just waiting to reignite after retirement. Consider making a list and putting activities in to 4 Categories.
Activities for my Physical well-being - Ex. moving your body however feels good, dancing, walking or even meditation to distance from thoughts that are overwhelming and buildng tension in the body.
Activities for my Emotional well-being - Ex. talking to people who are not anxious in an overwhelming way, taking a break from news watching, journaling
Activities for my Spiritual well-being - Ex. reading spiritual texts, doing spiritual practices, connecting with Nature, listening to music, playing music
Activities for my Intellectual well-being - Ex. distance learning, playing games you love, doing puzzles
See if you can brainstorm at least 3 activities for each category.
Next get out a piece of paper and draw a calendar for the week that goes hour by hour. Plot in to the calendar your meal times and then around these meal times and bedtime, fill in your calendar with all the activities you came up with from the 4 categories.
Creating this calendar filled with pleasant events, activities that meet your needs and values, will be a calming activity and reassuring to your mind you have created meaningful structure for your time.
The more our time is spent on activities that align with our values the better we feel about our quality of life even in times of distress.
In times of change we have the power to shape our experience.
With love,
Kaitlin